lewis black

i love this guy. he was on Law and Order last night as some loud mouth DJ. what a stretch for him. anyway's i snagged this little Back in Black vid from The Daily Show. classic.

watch the video here (flash 8 player + broadband required)

tubby biatch no.2

i went, i worked. sweat was my reward as well as the knowledge that for all the work it'll take a great deal more to actually achieve anything. dang. still, getting there is half the battle. shame the other half jumped me from behind while i was checking the scenery.

luckily the gym is packed with the usual 20-40 somethings whose sole aim is to lift car engines around the room. i say luckily as if at anytime i decide being a small, tubby geek is bad and being a meat-monster would be better i have immediate proof of this thought's folly. sure i want to lose weight, be fit and tone a bit but i've no interest in being a world federation wrestling contender. the odd thing is that the timeline is all there. the 20 year old on the gear through to the 50 year old rippled arms, fake tan and huge gut. a 'healthy' heart attack in vivid colour. still, if that's someone's hobby then more power to 'em. better that than staying home with a carton of piss, 2 packets of smokes a day and a penchant for porn. about the same conversational range but who am i to talk about that.

the story will continue. possibly.

quote for the day:
"It's an indulgence to sit in a room and discuss your beliefs as if they were a juicy piece of gossip." - Robert A. Heinlein (1907 - 1988)

today's gold

another addition to the incorrectly title 'today's gold' blogs.

games
:: The World of Warcraft, which has made blizzard another small fortune has inadvertently created a virtual-virus which nailed a few hundred human players. pretty interesting.

music video
:: depeche mode are realeasing a new album soon. Precious is the new single. i like it. looking forward to the album.

culture (sort of)
:: our very own terrorist suspect david hicks, may be able to gain a UK passport through his mum and therefore be set free from a 4 year stop-over at the USA guantanamo bay prison. the UK let no citizen be held as they felt the course of juctice was way to skewed there for a decent trial. shame Australia doesn't have any balls to look after it's citizen's as well. if he's guilty then let a court find that and sentence him. so far he's been there 4 years without any charges yet.

the animal kingdom
:: the famous 'gay penguin couple' are no more. love was ruined by a bad-ass woman on a mission of conversion.

housten lip service

"This is the worst planning I've ever seen," she said. "They say, 'We've learned a lot from Hurricane Katrina.' Well, you couldn't prove it by me." read the article "No Way Out, Many Poor Stuck in Housten" to make you feel angry.

quote for the day:
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
- George W. Bush jnr (Daily Mirror 6 aug 2004)

tubby biatch no.1

exercise. fuck it. it would be great to be able to say that. imagine a life where you could eat whatever you like and sit on your arse doing nothing and come out all ok in the end. ahh, a man can dream.

i've just joined a new gym as by joining gym/swapping membership i feel like i'm doing something positive for myself. i could not even go and i'd still feel like i'm ahead. if it weren't for the god-damned guilt riding me every waking (and sleeping) moment i'd do just that. i'm going to write a small account of the experiences there under this exciting title 'tubby biatch'.

issue one: the joining

it starts with an overly-healthy looking mid 20 year old personal-trainer at the local shopping mall talking about a 'good deal'. it's a fucking obvious and weak ploy but spot the dipshit who lets it roll around the brain-space long enough for it to stick. a phonecall later and i'm booked for an introductory sales-pitch.

i get there and it looks good. it's packed with the usual range of gym goers. it starts with the insecure, overweight people looking to break free from a lifetime of oppression forced mainly on them by themselves. at the other end of the spectrum, the over-muscled, fake tanned demi-gods who must also suffer a healthy dose of insecurity, why else are there so many mirrors in the joint. somewhere in the middle shuffles the average joe's like myself. neither particularly fat nor muscled. the desk-jockey with a penchant for shite-food and no exercise. i've always felt insecure at busy gyms. everyone else seems elevated above you through 'wellness' and looking great in lycra. funnily enough reaching 31 and being in a good relationship has kind of turned down the volume of the voices in my head screaming my inadequacies. sure everyone looks great but they also look a million years younger so fuck it. my irrelevance has become a strength. besides anyone looking to stare me down and mark-their territory is filed under 'fucking sad wanker'. i get some people's interest and hobby is their physique, just don't think i give a shite about the same things (i could take 'em at xbox anyway...).

we sit and go through the list. yes i want to get fit. yes i have motivational problems. no, i don't want to pay some freak to bury himself in my arse so i can hear a motivational speech 24 hours a day. no, i never had a good figure so i can't surround myself with photo's of my so-called 'good times' as motivation. arrgghh. all this so they can up-sell the joining 'package'. you can't ask for a price 'cause it's all 'tailor-made'. what bullshit. it felt like when i bought my latest car. i couldn't sign any paperwork until i'd been filled in by the after-market expert offering who the fuck knows. it feels like it never ends.

i talk a bit of bullshit, dangle the fact that my girlfiend is thinking of joining and can i get a package-deal? it works and i get a joining fee of $120. if i'd not tried it on i'd have paid close to $300. just to fucking join. the monthly's are $60 and they would have been $80. i sign i pay and i'm out on the street.

then the god-damned phonecalls start. was i happy with the joining experience? what, apart from the financial raping and needing gumboots for the bullshit? i answer 'yep, great'. 'well, great' i hear, 'we'll call you in a decade to drag more cash outta you'. i'm not sure if i heard the last bit but it sounded like that.

i have to say, the guy i delt with was excellent. he made no show to hide the fact that he thought all the extra 'bonuses' were shite. he was one of those trainers that you think 'shouldn't he be bigger?' but is really healthy and fit. it's the normal few like him that hold me to going. the guy who called following was a tad freaky and i'm guessing had to use a handsfree as his massive arm doesn't allow his hand to get a foot near his own head so at least it's all balancing out. next mission is to actually get there. oh boy, the fun.

you are there

i love this. use it for anyone who may be a tad behind the 8-ball.

aural bloggery - taxiride

my bosses wife brought in taxiride's latest offering to the world of mediocrity. my god. yep, they went in a new direction it's just a shame it was from the same travel companion "great directions in ear numbing shite". far out. there's elements of wannabe beatles, silverchair and a billion others all crafted together by someone who has to be self-medicating and tone-deaf. the first few tracks make you wonder if they forgot it wasn't 1971. the second half sounds like they meant to go heavy but mum asked them to turn the volume down while they were playing downstairs. i won't even mention the artwork. all good baby, all good...

and i thought to myself, where the fuck am i?

well thanks to a cold (the 60th this year) and work overload the old brain has suffered a complete lack of interest in all things. the captain of the brain-ship is asleep at the wheel again.

i bought the entire x-files dvd set from ebay. it turned out to be the korean / english version, which could matter less to me except the resale may be less as the dubious looks about it's quality beam at it from all and sundry. not bad though as for AU$200 (that's US$153 / UK£85) for 69 dvds it's a great set. some scale of viewing.

anyways, i have it playing on my old imac while i work on my new imac (consumer? moi? sheesh) and after series one just cut to series 7 as i stopped watching it when it aired around then. i like the Doggett character who replaced Mulder although i like him as he's the brother of Filter's richard patrick (ex-nin guitarist and the one man lead for the liquid 'band' famous for 'hey man, nice shot' and 'take a picture' - i embarass myself at how shallow i am at times).

i love the series but man, tv-series are made to be seen as a serial with a week between. watch 'em back to back and it'll put you on the ropes. firstly, the undercurrent second-level themes that are constantly bled into each story just drive you nuts. they are there to remind you of them and create depth so that 3 episodes later you get one solely about that theme. all through the first five/six season's the undercurrent theme was 'aliens' and you got little mentions of them while watching crazy tapeworms, kidney eating immortals and killer computers. every now and then you got a full blown episode of alien titilation and conspiracy which kind of brought you up to date without giving overly much away. by season 7 the gloves were off and aliens rulled the roost. 8-9 has got me sick to death of friggin aliens and just want to be invaded so i don't have to hear about it. if i hear anyone call out "oh my baby" in anguished tones (a la dana scully) ever again i'll probably flip-out and kill them with their own shoe.

i wasn't going to start on story 'leaps of faith' but what the hell. while mulder and scully worked as the believer and the devil's-advocate, the season 7-9 murky mixture of the blind leading the deaf is just painful. you have scully telling the hard nosed, straight laced ex-marine partner doggett that some bullshit paranormal-alien-genetic-freak-whatever is 'the only explanation for this crazy turn of events' when you think to yourself 'hell, i can think of two other explanations off hand and i 'aint a scientist nor that smart!'. luckily they quick edit away to something else and cover it all over with the now-cliche musical-tones-of-intrigue. i realise this can be said of most of the series and most other shows (i mean it's friggin entertainment so who cares) but it just seems sloppy and half-arsed. jeez we hung in there for 10 years of tv show for god's sake they could at least try a little.

in fact the whole last two seasons should have had a counter like '24' which counted down the minutes to the death of the show to make it easier for us to push through. the whole of season 9 has a sense of defeat which just drags out to make the full season episode quota (no doubt a contact thing?).

anyways, once i've put the nail in the season 9 coffin i'll simply go back to watching the highlight episodes again and again. there was soem awesome stuff throughout the show and i still really love it but it's horrible to watch something you love turn to shite and rollover for the death-shot.

like i said, slow brain week and nothing of relevance to write. i feel better for the vent though!

quote for the day:
"But here's a little tip from me: people who tell you you're paranoid? They're almost certainly in on the plot."
- from 'Incompetence" by Rob Grant

my life is better than your life.

why is it that most people (myself included) that talk boldly about how life isn't all about money spend so much time coverting expensive cars, the latest fashion in whatever and massive houses? are we simply trying to make ourselves feel better about 'our lot in life'? are we really so insecure about our own lives and the choices we have made that we have to put down someone we see because they drive a $200,000 car and yet sometimes secretly wish we were behind the wheel. (think fightclub. for all the talk about people's stupid want for better and more, the main character imagined he was a massively better 'him' in control of all he saw.)

it all comes down to what you want from life. what relationship. what belongings. what 'success' yardstick you measure by. it's a difficult one to answer. you think you know what you want from life and yet spend a great deal of time wanting to upsize. bigger. better. faster. when you've grabbed the next whatever you suddenly what the next one before it's even available. vicious cycle and one that 'aint going to end well for anyone but the company that makes it.

presently the main measurement of 'success' is financial, in western civilisation anyways. the spirtual has taken a back seat so far away it's in the boot eyeing off the tyre-iron. happiness is almost irrelevant yet when people are asked point-blank they will say that their happiness is one of the most important just equal with or slightly behind financial security. financial security, that's a funny one. i'd call financial security the ability to cover all your needs easily and allow you to live life without the stress of wondering constantly about food, shelter and the ability to clothe yourself. there is a massive difference between it and the ability to buy all the stuff you want and eat out every night. yet when we see those that can do that, we covet and proclaim their life to be so much more superficial than your own (not always and not everyone, this is just my experience and thoughts). if you're so much better and deeper than that why do you want it? tough question. i don't have an answer.

i guess the good thing is that people are always striving to be better and to do more, for whatever reasons. that drive in us is the reason we're not still walking around naked banging rocks together. england would be a massively over-populated hole by now if 'whitey' hadn't set out on a voyage of discovery for better places to set-up prisons. the only thing is people need to spend more time thinking about what they really want out of this trip around the mortal coil. honestly think what they want rather than be told by tv advertising or friend's and neighbours. it's something you have to address everyday to tackle effectively. it's a hard thing to do but would certainly help the majority. it helps me. sometimes.

now where's that audi tt of mine...

quote for the day:
"Only in America would there be a guy that cocaine wasn't good enough for. You know? One guy walking around New York City back in 1985 going, "You know, that cocaine's pretty good, but I want something that makes my heart explode as soon as I smoke it, ok? I want to take one suck off that crack pipe and go *snort* *splat* Now I'm happy! I'm dead, the ultimate high!" - Dennis Leary

today's gold

today from Wired News' Furthermore:

Sounds Like Teen Charity
Sept. 14, 2005 PT When student council members at a small Roman Catholic high school in Pennsylvania were pondering ways to raise money for Hurricane Katrina victims, they didn't just want to sell lemonade. So, instead, they launched the "Stop the Bop" fund-raiser. The school plays Hanson's 1996 hit "MMMBop" through the loudspeakers before classes begin, between periods and during lunch. In order to stop hearing the annoying song constantly, students must donate money to the cause. The school hopes to raise $3,000; so far, students have forked over $2,300. "Kids have said, 'If I give you a blank check, will you stop this music?'" said Meredith Cox, president of the student council. "They say ... 'We just want it to end. Even though it's for a good cause, we just want it to end.' It's rather funny." -- Jenny McKeel

the man can talk...

here's a reviewer over at amazon's 'complete works'. gold. as much as the guy needs to manually relieve the stress (it's fairly obvious no female has ever touched the job without payment upfront) i have to say the Star Wars Episode II review is on the money.

read 'em all here.

no petrol day my arse.

alrighty, it's been a while so something new and fun to kickoff. there is a proposed "No Petrol Day - 22nd September" the details of which can be found below. you may have been emailed this info or maybe you clicked on the wrong link during your daily porn search.

the pitch:
it has been calculated that if everyone in australia did not purchase a drop of petrol for one day and all at the same time, the oil companies would choke on their stockpiles.

at the same time it would hit the entire industry with a net loss over 4.6 billion dollars which affects the bottom lines of the oil companies. therefore thursday september 22nd has been formally declared "stick it up their ass" day and the people of this nation should not buy a single drop of petrol that day.

the only way this can be done is if you forward this e-mail to as many people as you can and as quickly as you can to get the word out. waiting on the government to step in and control the prices is not going to happen. what happened to the reduction and control in prices that the arab nations promised two weeks ago?

remember one thing, not only is the price of petrol going up but at the same time airlines are forced to raise their prices, trucking companies are forced to raise their prices which effects prices on everything that is shipped. things like food, clothing, building supplies medical supplies etc. who pays in the end? we do!

we can make a difference. if they don't get the message after one day, we will do it again and again. so do your part and spread the word. forward this email to everyone you know. mark your calendars and make september 22nd a day that the citizens of australia "enough is enough"

my thought's regarding this apathetic 'joining of the people':

yep and then the next day we'll all go out and get a full tank, making up for the day before. a truly useless gesture which will affect nothing but give us all a collective 'pat on the shoulder' so we can feel good that we've achieved something which we wont have. negative the comment may seem but true which gives it that little oomph.

funny how we all think making a stand against oil companies is so important yet apart from whinging about the wars going on under our countries names we're not doing a 'stand against the government and/or war' so whole-heartedly. much easier to make a stand by doing nothing i guess.

if anyone actually wants to do something worthwhile and want to follow through with the 'hard hitting' war-against-oil-companies, send the 20 bucks you're saving on fuel on the 22nd to a charity of your choice or maybe go buy a hit or heroin and hand it to the first homeless person you see. your choice.

also, as a little side note. how exactly are they supposed to 'choke on their stockpiles'?!? how does any company do that? what, they don't have enough containers? also, can someone send me a link to the media release from those sneaky 'arab nations' that talked about reducing the prices please. i'm fairly sure i missed that one.

quote for the day:
"I never learned from a man who agreed with me."
- Robert A. Heinlein (1907 - 1988)