random comedian: 03

Denis. One of the first comedians I felt bonded too as an adult. His material at any rate. It was a glimmer of light in the often crap-filled world for me to discover people saying things I felt, just much improved in their writing. Yep, Denis and Bill Hicks certainly made me feel hope for the sorry state of things at times.

Anyway, Denis 'aint released much new comedy material in a long while but his acting seems to have taken off what with Rescue Me having gained a massive momentum in the States. Lately he's done an interview with Playboy magazine in which he's given Paris Hilton much needed knocking.

...He zaps Paris Hilton for making "not very good homemade porn. And I'm not talking about the way it was filmed. I'm talking about the actual sex." He rips Adam Sandler for doing "the same thing over and over . . . playing the retard-goofball crazy guy." Finally, Leary wants free sex for the president: "If he's doing a good job, Keira Knightley gets told, 'Part of your job is to [bleep] the president . . . then we'll put you in a big movie.' "... (nypost.com)


I'm a fan of his cd's which include the painful 'comedy song' which, on Denis' cd's I actually enjoy (who didn't love I'm an Arsehole.

Save This (Lock 'N Load)

I have no head for figures
My hands cannot explain
Endangered animals and acid rain

I see dead rivers running dry
I see activists who march and cry
How they cry singin'

Why must we desecrate this land
I'll tell you why
Because we can that's why

Save the whales, save the seals
Save the eagle, save the bison and the beach
Why not save your breath

Save the porpoise, save the dolphin
Save the gerbil, save the racoon and the rat
Why not save some stamps

I am a human, I'm a goddamn human being
I walk erect
See the cheetah, oh so supple, lean and quick
As he chases a gazelle
But he can't drive a car
At least not very far

I am a human, I'm a goddamn human being
I can pay for sex

"Hey, there's a great show on the Discovery Channel tonight,
the history of the badger."
"Hmm, I wonder what badger tastes like?"
"I don't know, probably tastes like ferret."
"Wow, you've had ferret?"
"Yeah."
"What's it taste like?"
"Chicken."

I am a human, I'm a goddamn human being
I can wipe my ass

"What gives mankind the right to kill at will?"
"I'll tell you what, guns.
Big fuckin' guns with giant fuckin' bullets pal."

I am a human, I'm a goddamn human being
I can shave my balls

quote for the day:
"Did you ever notice they never take any fat hostages? You never see a guy coming out of Lebanon going: I was held hostage for seven months and I lost 175 pounds, I feel good and I look good and I learned self-discipline. That's the important thing."
- Denis Leary