actors are people not the characters they play

While I'm on a tirade against the misrepresentation of people I had to take a shot at this.

I was watching a Foxtel space-filler that had a few TV celebrities being interviewed on a stage in front of a live crowd (better than a deceased crowd, less flies and stench). The main one I sat through was with Gil Grissom from the original CSI. I'm going to call him Grisson rather than his real name, William L. Petersen, as I don't think Mr Petersen exists anymore. Not to the the general public anyways. The dude is an intelligent, experienced and battle wary all-purpose forensic cop with a sharp mind, wit and an encyclopedic knowledge of, well, pretty much anything.

Well here's our beloved Grissom being interviewed about all manner of things from modern forensic science to the plethora of CSI franchises (not to mention the rip-off shite like NCIS - David McCallum is exempt from my contempt. Illya Kuryakin has done too much for my life's entertainment to be hog-tied over an obvious cash run) to the latest news headlines. Old Grisson gives his point of view in a well thought, slow manner (as we're used to) for all to consume. Trouble is, for me anyways, is that he 'aint fucking Grisson is he? He's some bloke that for all I know write's an 'X' as a signature and goes about off-set with a safety helmet safely strapped on. Seriously, he could have an IQ of 15 on a good day for all we know yet we're happy to sit there and listen to his points of view 'cause we're so fucked up we think he's a character from a TV show?!? I'm not saying he shouldn't give his 2-cents, why shouldn't he? He would have an interesting lifetime experience to offer BUT who's to say it's worth shite? I mean John Cleese is an intelligent, extremely well educated man yet you wouldn't see him in the same situation (until lately that is) because he's the bloke that invented the Ministry of Silly Walks and sold albatros to the crowd at the Hollywood Bowl one night!

All I'm saying is take the messanger at their own merits. The real ones. Not the facade. To be fair to the actors caught up in this modern day illusion, it's not their fault. They didn't propel themselves to this situation (in most cases), nope we did. Our wants drove the mass media to create the product and then we bought into it without realising the reality. Many blame 'the media' like it's some fucking boogey-man but really it's us. The average schmos who unconsciously buy into the unreality as a form of silent protest to the mundane nature of everyday life. Or something like that.

quote for the day:
"I love acting. It is so much more real than life."
- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)

mel gibson

Give it a fucking rest. The man is simply a man. An actor at that. He is not the person you see on screen and love. He is not whichever character you think of when looking at him. He's a hard working family man suffering the weight of wanting to make important art and leave a legacy of his work. He also seems to be a man that want's to understand the human experience while also walking the tightrope called the Catholic belief - one that many would agree force a large amount of guilt and (like all religion or dogmatic belief systems) a fair amount of contridiction. He's also human and suffers from an addiction problem, gee i bet he's the only one with that problem right?!? Fuck it man, at least he's trying and unlike many of us actually succeeding for the most part. The shame for him and his family is that he's in the limelight. One man's bad night and stupid mistake becomes another man's Worldwide newsbyte.

People say stupid shite when they're pissed. Yes, I'll agree that to a certain extent alcohol lubricates your inhibitions. A certain amount of alcohol does that. A bit more and causality goes right out the fucking window. Just because certain things go through your head doesn't mean they are things you believe or act on. Usually. Add alcohol and it's a stream-of-consciousness-experience. Shit enters your head and you say it. It could be something you've read or seen. Yep, it could be something you've even thought but then disreguarded. If you honestly believe that you've never thought untoward shit about people or situations and then consciously written off that thought then you're full of shit. No-one's that pristine.

Give the man a break and allow for human nature. If someone fucks up (and he did fuck up) let them know and then let them better themselves. Any more than that and it's more than possible you're actually attacking someone else for your own mistakes and issues (insert every fundamentalist christian evangalist who got done for corruption and sexual misconduct here).

quote for the day:
"Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up"
- Batman Begins (2005)

local h

Well it's been a while between blogs so I'm going to whack a few ideas up. Stuff that's been niggling at the back of the vacant cavern I use as framework holding my head together.

I recently met a man, who wasn't going to the fare (I started that sentence, realised where it was going and couldn't stop). I have no idea if it's the same all over, but Brisbane suffers from the whole one-degree of separation theory. Traditionally it's six-degrees (great film with Will Smith btw) but here it's a completely different kettle of sea life. Granted I've been living here since 1987 and have had a fairly diverse social life but at times it makes me laugh my balls off. Nothing surpises me when it comes to coincidence or similar.

Anyways at a bucks day I met a Bride-to-be's father who is best friends with my very first girlfriend's dad and was able to update me on the last few years of a sad story. My very first girlfriend, who when I met her was a very sweet and introspective person, had a difficult date with destiny. A quote from her that I always remember was "I want to try everything". Fuck-off. I've heard that a million + times and my one question is "yeah, you gonna jump off a skyscraper anytime soon?". Nope. No way man, that shit'll kill ya. Yeah, a-ha. Anyways, we ended our lifetime streak of virginal status together which is sadly an important memory for me. I think it's a big deal in your introduction to adulthood, even if it happened when you were 16. Maybe 15, I can't remember what week it was. We'll in tune with her previous comment the whole event was her idea. I was pretty happy just kissing. I mean in the space of two weeks I had my first kiss and then my first brief sexual encounter. I was living a lifetime of private single-sex schools (but in my favour all my family and family-friend peers were girls but the terror was still there. stayed there too but luckily my girlfriend Myra felt enough sorrow to save me from singledom). Anyways, we did the dirty and then about two weeks later she binned me, job done. Thanks to some rather average social grouping she went from strength to strength, drug to drug and bumped heavily into heroin. This is where the blog title steps up, apologies if you thought this was heading towards the 2-piece band of the same name. Great band though.

Well I caught up with her a few times over the years and then when I came back from a year's working vacation in England I went and visited. She was great and had just got out of rehab with boundless optimism. The shame was she fell into the massive percent of relapse addicts. Back to it and down the spiral she went. Twelve years on and 2 children later, one of which has been adopted by her parents she has probably not yet 'tried everything'. The safe money's not investing in her futures. That's not meant as a flipant comment, it's reality and to be honest cuts me to the bone. Reality shouldn't be ignored. Realty on the other hand is a bore.

I've known a few addicts of the evil-h. I knew a guy who actually aimed for it thanks to an overly romantic view of William S. Burroughs and Kurt Cobain (I'm personally a huge Burroughs and Cobain fan but who's stupid and naive enough to buy into the relationship between art and drugs as a 'must have'. It's the easy option is all). One friend told me while I was quiting smoking that he actually found it harder to quit the smokes than the h. Not many corner stores sell smack over the counter nor advertised it at bus stops (this was 8 years or so ago when tobacco advertising knew no limits). I've also known normal people who stimbled into the evil fucker while suffering a lifelong bout of insecurity and self doubt. Been there, just never bought into the foil wrapped meal to go.

My experience through all this is interesting. The one girl I saw destroy her life was an intelligent, capable and self-reliant person. I feel the loss of her potential inside me. I honestly feel sadness beyond explanation for her and her family. I realise this may sound lame as I really have had no contact with her in a decade but she was an important part of my life and I'll always cherish the memory. Although she may have suffered the usual insecurities she certainly didn't wear them on her sleeve, unlike some wankers (insert my photo here). Her family were, and I'm sure still are, an amazing couple. Incredibly supportive, warm, intelligent and welcoming. I have fond memory's of the small amount of time I spent in their company and can still remember how good I felt to be around them. Literally as a feeling, not just a distant memory. Her sister was (and I'm sure still is) a great person and they had an excellent sibling relationship.

So a great life foundation, coupled with nothing but positive attributes. What happened? If you believe the mass marketed-media it's depression, or the wrong social group or the wrong music. Fuck that. I have no doubt that it's attributed to parts of all those (except the music thing) but there has to be more. Genetic predisposition is one i think, but a strong factor in my limited experience is ego. The ego to think "it won't take me, I'm to smart". The thought pattern that you are somehow stronger than it is. You are so smart and strong that you'll be able to use it for a buzz, for a bit, and then give it the flick. Yep, 10 years, 2 kids and several pimps later what are you thinking? Anything? Shame spiral so all-consuming that denial is a lifetime pursuit now and self relisation is a thing only hippies do?

It's true that some people hit the skids so hard they find our friendly blood-toxin, but there's plenty who discover their own frailty through misinformed experimentation. I just thank my lucky stars that my personal insecurities never asked for that crutch. I tried all manner or other ones but smack and acid were 2 i stayed away from. Not to say some wouldn't still choose or fall into it but I believe that if there was a more open discourse about these things some people could be saved a lifetime of trials and tribulations.

Just remember, the house almost-always wins with this one.

quote for the day:
"The junk merchant doesn't sell his product to the consumer, he sells the consumer to the product. He does not improve and simplify his merchandise. He degrades and simplifies the client."
- William S. Burroughs (1914 - 1997) - Quote from Naked Lunch